Noko is Loco.

I've officially survived a whole week as a high school teacher. Everybody may now cheer.

You know what? It wasn't even hard. In fact I'd go as far as to say it was really, really easy. I walked in expecting to have, well, classes; it turns out that as I'm at the 'sports-centered' Nogata high school and the annual sports festival is approaching, practically all the class time has given way to athletic and performance practice sessions; this means the (quite large) quotient of P.E. teachers are relatively busy, but the 'geeks': those of us who teach things like history, maths, Japanese, English and the like are essentially working in a practical vat of free time.

So this week I've made a few speeches, taken a tour of the school, chatted a lot with the staff, studied some Japanese, eaten some lunches, drunk some coffee and generally tried to act like any conscientious educator would in my situation.

Nogata high school, more often known as 'Noko'. The main building was obviously designed by a person with a fondness for concrete, rectangles and communism.

The staff have all been really nice, friendly and helpful; and they all do their best to meet my broken Japanese with English responses. I've got some big shoes to fill; my predecessor Taea (a charming young Hawaiian woman) came to visit the school for a few days before she said goodbye; she helped me out a lot with advice, and everyone will miss her muchly I'm sure- still, just another reason to swing by and visit Hawaii right?

The kids are all really cool too- some are shy and stammer when they try to speak to me, others are so enthusiastic that they just grab and start speaking Japanese, again I feel like a rock-star; there's nothing like having a gaggle of cheerleaders begging you to dance with them to boost a guys self-esteem. One first year student made my day when she found out that I knew who Haruhi Suzumiya is and then proceeded to organise her friends to perform the dance from the shows title.

Inside a classroom (class 2-3 to be exact). I hardly ever get to be in one of these so it's quite special. Also, the kids haven't dissolved, they've just changed into sportswear and left behind a giant cache of hello-kitty accessories.

So really so far my job involves wandering the halls of a high school and making small talk with students and staff, occasionally observing and occasionally participating in sports, VERY occasionally preparing some materials and ASSISTING in teaching an English class and generally bringing my Shaunitude to the institute as a whole. Far be it from me to complain about Japanese tax dollars subsidising what often feels to me like life in a slightly surreal sports club.

Most wacky/fun things about the job so far:

a) I am the shoe king!: I own and use no less than 4 pairs of shoes while on the job; 'outside' shoes, 'inside' shoes, 'gym' shoes and 'track' shoes (and that's not counting school provided bathroom slippers). I am now proficient in changing footwear in under 8 seconds.

b) Student servitude: there is no janitor, students clean the school in the 15 minute 'cleaning' block at the end of the day while teachers 'supervise'; they even come into the staff room and empty our wastepaper baskets and sweep the floor... never has being slovenly been easier!

c) Coordination central: 'Sports day' over here isn't just about running, jumping and spraying your hair a funny colour: it's about high-grade crowd synchronisation. Everything from student marches to cheerleading to massed displays using coloured boards is controlled with loud communal yelling, taiko drums and megaphones. Sometimes it feels suspiciously like the Nuremberg rally (then the cheer squad plays a Spice Girls song and the illusion is shattered).

Anyway; as always, I'm having fun, being silly and am not dead. Mission accomplished I say.

Stay busy people of the world,

Shaun.

From the 'bo, to the No'.

So here I am, once again back in Japan, and once again preparing to jump headfirst into a life of a foreign educator. Exciting eh?

Actually, by the time I'd woken up at 4AM after a fitful 4 hour 'rest' in bed, said goodbye to my nearest and dearest, transferred through to Sydney, agonized for several hours over which of the anemic selection of airport novels was the best choice to accompany my entertainment and meal-less budget airline flight, sat through said flight, wrangled through all the forms and protocols required by Japanese immigrations and customs, collected my luggage and trekked to my hotel, I was less 'excited' than 'barely cogent'.

Leoplace 21 appears mundane at first glance, but it is secretly home to SHAUN! The English teacher with the karaoke strength of 10 salarymen!

I think a lot of it comes from familiarity; I remember landing in Narita last year and being bombarded with the newness of it all; for weeks I could be entertained just by browsing in supermarkets, but by now the thrill of that observation and experimentation has been replaced by nonchalance. I've eaten at a Mos Burger, I've seen 'Hard Gay' on TV and I know I like 'World Executive Blend' coffee from the vending machines (hot, not cold).

The inside of 'Casa del Shaun' (otherwise known as 'my apartment'). Note the fact that it has light fittings; more than many places come equipped with.

Of course the flip side is that things run a lot more smoothly with the experience; the next morning I jumped through my public transport schedule without a hitch, met the friendly company rep and moved into my new apartment without a single problem... an hour in and I had gas, hot water and my internet all hooked up. Brilliance. For bonus convenience points there's a giant mall over the road from my place, so if I forget to buy milk (or flatscreen TV's, or engrish T-shirts) it means a 2 minute walk back to store rather than an epic car ride.

The view outside my apartment: Nogata AEON mall. When the zombie apocalypse comes, this will be my fortress.

Nogata as a city feels a lot more quiet than Sasebo, the train station and mall ahve a quiet buzz, but not the intensity that I lived with before (then again, maybe I've just been jaded by my time in Tokyo and Oaaka). I like it though; my apartment is a brand new Leopalace kitted out with Ikea-esque storage solutions (I sleep on a luft-bed now... a dream fulfilled!) I miss my bilingual CNN, MTV and Superdrama; but hopefully that'll just mean I'll spend my time doing sometime more productive than watching TV.

Nogata: quiet, pretty, calm and oppressively hot and moist (currently)

This week has been mostly training with the company; it was all very relaxed and amiable, and the people in charge seem to have absolute confidence in us all (if only they knew!). The welcome party was nice, and hopefully we'll all manage to catch up once in a while and trade notes. I got to see some of Kitakyushu too, which was cool; another castle crossed off my list!

Right, so there's still stuff to be done; furnishings to buy, days to plan, plots to scheme... y'know, the usual. I'm a busy, busy man.

But right now I'm going down to the pub for a pint. It *is* Friday after all.

Kampai world,

Shaun.

Blog defrosting.

Right, so it's been forever since I wrote anything on here. In fact I'm pretty sure you could have written a screenplay called 'Kanji for Beginners'; pitched it to some studio execs and singed a bunch of A-listers and made a movie about some guy who was out of his depth in Japan in the time it's been between posts. Come to think of it, why hasn't someone done that?

My official excuse is that my computer melted, I got coerced/seduced into facebook, got a girlfriend and was otherwise too busy having adventures to actually write about them.

Or you could just say I got slack. That's accurate too.

Anyway; since I'm heading back to Japan I figured I'd give this another shot. Maybe this time with a preponderance of free evenings and some zappy 'can-do' spirit (the sort I'm telling myself will be engendered by work in the public education service) I'll manage to stay on top of the chronicle this time around.

Right; so I've got a new layout inspired (read: stolen) by (from) the work of Japanese manga genius Kiyohiko Azuma. I've got a new laptop, a new haircut, a new apartment, a new job and a new town to work in. I also have new anxiety and old foibles. But whatever; I'll deal.

My new job involves teaching high-school kids in a town called Nogata, Fukuoka prefecture. Don't know where that is? Let me help.


Right, so now you all know enough to come and visit, I promise spare futons for all! (crazy random internet people excepted: please apply elsewhere). Not sure if you want to visit? Here are some fun facts to encourage you:

- Nogata used to be a coal mining town.
- There is a coal mining museum in Nogata.
- I will be living in Nogata.

Most importantly:

- Nogata is near Fukuoka.

I have also developed a methodically planned 'to do' list, to maximise my 'Japan time'. Notable aspirations include:

- Spending an entire day in an onsen and seeing if I feel better or worse afterwards.
- Going to a Puffy AmiYumi concert.
- Finding a Japanese person who not only has heard of, but likes 'Azumanga Daioh'
- Devising a plan to somehow get paid to lie on a beach in Okinawa
- Going a week without eating out of a convienience store
- Keeping this blog semi-regular.
- Upholding the ideals of the founders of the United Nations.
- Bringing peace to the Korean pennisula

If anyone has any other suggestions or ideas I'd be very happy to hear them; otherwise, start booking those tickets; I need company!

Shaun(y).

Livin' in the hood.

It's an 'emergency' post today, just to let everyone know that I have in fact NOT been shot in a sports club recently.

In case you didn't hear (and I'm pretty sure you didn't), that's exactly what happened up the road from me this evening. Some whack-job walked into the gym up the road with a rifle and shot a swimming instructor dead and wounded a bunch of other people just trying to keep out of the obesity epidemic.

Sod... I'm in the safest frickin' nation on Earth and I happen to be down the road from a bloody MASS SHOOTING. How's that for irony? It's a good night to stay in with the telly me'thinks.

More info at http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/12/14/news/Japan-Shooting.php

Stay out of the line of fire world.

Shaun.

Gomen...

Ummm, anyone still out there?

Another epic gap between posts; this time due to large scale (like blue-whale sized) technical difficulties; specifically my computer suffering from a Chernobyl-esque metdown that left it completely inoperable.

The upside is that I'm typing this on my brand new Japanoputer, which is a mondo-sexy Sony Vaio (I'll leave out the geek-drooling for now, suffice to say that I'm very impressed with the keyboard action).

Anyway, I promise to get back to uploading all the entries I've been taking copious (and manually recorded) notes on throughout my adventures, and there are adventures to be recounted... trust me.

So stay tuned... GTS is back, and as wryfully detached as ever.

Stars.

There's a lot of festivity this month! Next on the celebratory hitlist is Tanabata, the Japanese star festival on July 7^th. The legend goes that two separated lovers (the stars Altair and Vega) are allowed to meet each other only on this night... awwww... romantic huh? The occasion is celebrated with a summer festival, and people tying poems, prose or wishes to the branches of bamboo trees.

Our Japanese class decked out in Tanabata wear and lookin' spiffy. See the lady on the far right in the blue? That's Fumie my teacher who's slowly but steadily improved the level of my Japanese from 'non-existent' to 'existent but bad'. Quite the achievement.

Luckily, we had the staff of our Japanese language program to explain this to us, this week we forgoed our regularly scheduled lessons in exchange for a Tanabata party, allowing the girls to get decked out in classy kinomos and the rest of us to eat some traditional sweets and write out some wishes; my three this year are (in no particular order):

1. A pair of shoes that FIT.

2. The ability to control my kid's classes through sheer force of will.

3. World peace.

Really, I'll settle for one out of three. The most nerve-wracking part of the festivities was having to give a short speech in Japanese talking about yourself. Luckily I had my teacher Fumie to polish out my grammar mistakes and brief me on how to pronounce everything, domo arigato Fumie-sensei!

Post festival celebrations (the day after actually) I jumped on a bus down to Fukuoka to help Katy get her Birthday celebratory vibe on. Amanda pulled off some stellar organization and a fabulous array of Mexican food, we cracked out and carved up a candle laden watermelon (how Japanese huh?) Then we went down to the park for some more firework-themed shenanigans (wooo! I still have all my fingers, that's 2 for 2!) We stayed up sipping champagne and pontificating about life until the wee hours then eventually retired for some much needed kip.

Katy with her birthday watermelon (tea-lights included), tasty AND far healthier than the traditional calorie-loaded 'cake' alternative; Japanese ingenuity scores again!

I spent much of the afternoon hanging around Amandas place while she was out, taking the opportunity to read my way through some more Haruki Murakami, this time it was South of the Border, West of the Sun, which gets high marks from me for noirish atmosphere and visualization but lost out a little in the actual 'storytelling' sense; I'll still give it a recommendation though since you can read the whole thing in under 4 hours.

Getting festive in the park; we danced like nobody was watching. Unfortunately, someone was. Damn you Amanda! ;)

In the afternoon I grabbed a coach back to Sasebo to do dinner with Laura and Lani and reaffirm my testosterone filled manliness with a cinematic session of Die Hard 4.0, awesomely cinema's in Japan don't suffer hangups about allowing food or beverages onto their premises, so we grabbed a six pack and proceeded to sup our way through it as Mr. Willis got progressively more violent and blood stained in his pursuit of justice. Afterwards we went down to the local park and climbed onto a gazebo roof and watched the fish jump in the horribly polluted river while we philosophized. Very Dawson's Creek, no? :P

Now of course it's time to start another work week. Hooray. Yay. Woo AND Hoo. Pass the tie and call me 'sensei', I've got a whole bag of grammar, vocab and listening skills to teach before next Sunday!

Starlight and love,

Shaun.

Stripes.

One of the best things about being an English teacher in Japan is the vast array of people you meet from all over the world (or at least the English speaking world). Suddenly it's rare to have a group of friends who share an accent, and getting carded at the pub is a cool excuse to check out the drivers licenses of the globe.

Another benefit is that it provides an excuse to celebrate an inordinate number of national holidays; before I didn't even know when Canada day was, now it's marked on my calender and I'm stockpiling maple syrup in anticipation.

In any case, living among such a vast quantity of Americans, it seemed remiss of us not to do something to mark the anniversary of the nations, uhhh... nationhood. You can only imagine my shock and disappointment when I found that the only 'official' July 4^th celebration was held behind the secure perimeter of the Sasebo Fleet Activities facility. 'This shall not stand!' I muttered to Lani and Laura and set about organizing a suitable homage to George Washington et all.

Laura and Lani... ummm... in my bathtub. Don't ask me how this happened (or why they were both in my tiny bathroom AT THE SAME TIME.) But we were lucky there were no fatalities. Note how Lani is reaching out for help while I'm standing taking photos. What are friends for, right?

Not that there was much organization to do, seeing as our idea of a celebration involved those two great pillars of Americana- fireworks and hard liquor. It's been so long since I've had ready access to explosives (what with Australia being one big tinderbox and all) that my childlike joy could hardly be suppressed when I walked into Jusco and found an insane quantity of near military grade explosives to choose from, all available over the counter.

So after work I got back to my apartment to find Laura and Lani already engrossed in beer-swilling and MTV watching. There were many toasts (some even non-ironic) to Lani's homeland, then we wandered down to the park to set off our stash of sky flowers. For some reason we had this idea that it would be cool to set ALL the freakin' things off simultaneously; while the visual result was indeed spectacular, it generated enough noise that we actually ran away before we were arrested under some festivity-crushing noise-pollution ordnance or something.

Fireworks! There's enough firepower here to level and entire civilization (of ants). I think the bottle of I.W. Harper is a nice touch too, it really screams 'responsibility'.

At this stage the bar seemed a good idea, so we wandered off to Playmates, then proceeded to party with the Navy for much of the night, I was amazed by how many of them didn't actually realize it was July 4^th (or 5^th actually at this stage) unpatriotic sods! Still they bought us beer which was nice. Happy birthday America!

Oh say can you see?

Shaun.